Learning to Ride a Bike at 19: the Importance of Friends
Hi All!
Sorry for the delay in writing this post. As you may have noticed I try to post here at least once if not twice a week, but it has been about a week and a half since my last post. However, I hope that the following story will explain my slight absence.
While disability does not always make it impossible, it can make it difficult to achieve certain childhood milestones; climbing trees, learning to swim, being on a school sports team. Indeed, all these goals are still achievable but I think it would be wrong to deny that their attainment may be less simple and for this reason I think that the success of some should not devalue the struggle of the individual. For me one of these struggles was learning to ride a bike. Cerebral Palsy does not remove one of their right to ride the two wheeled vehicle, but my natural lack of balance and poor coordination had never lent themselves to this particular skill. I had tried over the years but with little success. Possibly the moment which fooled me into believing that I would a) never be able to learn to ride a bike and b) that this difficulty was something to be embarrassed of, was a day in year 5 dedicated to cycling proficiency. I remember being set the task of writing a report on the day, left to watch from the sidelines, and unsurprisingly nothing ever came of that particular piece of work. Of course I am not suggesting that it was the school's duty to teach a ten year old to ride a bike from complete beginner level. However, it might have been nice if the division between me and my classmates hadn't been made so stark.
Fast-forward to almost a decade later, I am 19, living in the country's couple and supposedly doomed forever as a slave to public transport because I have begrudging accepted that I, Freya, will never ride a bike. What fresh first year Freya hadn't taken into consideration is that they would end up with two of the best friends imaginable, who in fact would make it their missions to teach them to ride a bike (you know exactly who you are). I won't lie, when first presented with this promise I wasn't entirely optimistic and jokes about taping my feet to the peddles did paint a look of dread across my face. But almost a year of friendship and care meant that by the beginning of this month these two people were in fact people I trusted to look after me while sat upon what had previously seemed to me as a two wheeled torture device.
How does this explain my absence? Lessons begun on Sunday (the day I would usually post) and continued to Monday, and by the end of these two days I was a bit sore so blogging was temporarily put aside in favour of rest. Now, this blog post isn't going to end with me sitting on a bike for the first time in years and immediately being qualified for a triathlon. In fact, this kind of blind hope is what has tripped me up in the past, leading to only frustration at both myself and the pure concept of cycling. Instead this will be a story of support, patience and steady progress. I am undoubtedly a stubborn person but I am also a person who doesn't wish to take up too much of other people's time, meaning what I believed would happen was me consistently falling on my face for an hour before convincing my friends that there were probably many far better uses for their time. What I hadn't bet on was that my friends were just as stubborn as I, and despite my annoyance at the task at hand that they would continue to kindly but firmly encourage me to continue. We must have spent 10 hours or so in Regents Park over those two days, with a portion of that time being spent with me being defeatist and frustrated, giving my friends good reason to go home. However, I continued to perservere and so did they. By Sunday evening I had ridden a bike for about 30 seconds without stopping and without someone holding on to the seat. This may seem like nothing to some, but this is the most progress I had made in about 15 years of regular attempts. What kept me going was my two friends cheering me on when I succeeded and helping me up when I fell. What kept me positive was having someone to tell me that they understood it was hard but simultaneously tell me I could do it.
We still have a way to go. Now that we know I can do it, what we are working on is getting me to stop panicking once I get going. What will also be a new challenge is getting me on the path rather than the grass, unafraid of falling off in front of others. I had a bit of a wobble at the end of Monday's session, as I had attempted the path but fallen, attracting the attention of 4 different strangers. It wasn't so much that I was ashamed but more so that I wanted the same opportunity as others to learn anonymously and I didn't want their looks and their questions. As my last post suggests, myself and others don't like being called inspirational simply for living with disability. However, after that fall one of my friends told me that what I was doing was 'brave' because most people don't have to have their early bike riding experiences stand out or be different, and in that moment my friend had given me the acknowledgement I needed. I didn't need to be patronised or told that my disability meant it was okay not to give it a go, I'd heard that before and while there have been grains of truth it was never useful. What I needed was to have some recognise that this was bloody hard but help me do it anyway, and that was exactly what my friends did for me this week.
I have written this post for 5 reasons:
A) To explain my lateness in posting
B) To tell you that these things aren't always impossible but I understand that they aren't easy either
C) To say that they are a lot easier with the right support
D) To remind you that more often than not it isn't late
E) Most importantly, to thank my friends (they know who they are) for just being awesome
Part of how awesome my friends are is the fact they are willing to continue helping me in this endeavour, with lessons resuming soon. I will keep you updated on my progress and I will continue appreciating great friendship when I find it.
See you later Alligators!
Freya x
Sorry for the delay in writing this post. As you may have noticed I try to post here at least once if not twice a week, but it has been about a week and a half since my last post. However, I hope that the following story will explain my slight absence.
While disability does not always make it impossible, it can make it difficult to achieve certain childhood milestones; climbing trees, learning to swim, being on a school sports team. Indeed, all these goals are still achievable but I think it would be wrong to deny that their attainment may be less simple and for this reason I think that the success of some should not devalue the struggle of the individual. For me one of these struggles was learning to ride a bike. Cerebral Palsy does not remove one of their right to ride the two wheeled vehicle, but my natural lack of balance and poor coordination had never lent themselves to this particular skill. I had tried over the years but with little success. Possibly the moment which fooled me into believing that I would a) never be able to learn to ride a bike and b) that this difficulty was something to be embarrassed of, was a day in year 5 dedicated to cycling proficiency. I remember being set the task of writing a report on the day, left to watch from the sidelines, and unsurprisingly nothing ever came of that particular piece of work. Of course I am not suggesting that it was the school's duty to teach a ten year old to ride a bike from complete beginner level. However, it might have been nice if the division between me and my classmates hadn't been made so stark.
Fast-forward to almost a decade later, I am 19, living in the country's couple and supposedly doomed forever as a slave to public transport because I have begrudging accepted that I, Freya, will never ride a bike. What fresh first year Freya hadn't taken into consideration is that they would end up with two of the best friends imaginable, who in fact would make it their missions to teach them to ride a bike (you know exactly who you are). I won't lie, when first presented with this promise I wasn't entirely optimistic and jokes about taping my feet to the peddles did paint a look of dread across my face. But almost a year of friendship and care meant that by the beginning of this month these two people were in fact people I trusted to look after me while sat upon what had previously seemed to me as a two wheeled torture device.
How does this explain my absence? Lessons begun on Sunday (the day I would usually post) and continued to Monday, and by the end of these two days I was a bit sore so blogging was temporarily put aside in favour of rest. Now, this blog post isn't going to end with me sitting on a bike for the first time in years and immediately being qualified for a triathlon. In fact, this kind of blind hope is what has tripped me up in the past, leading to only frustration at both myself and the pure concept of cycling. Instead this will be a story of support, patience and steady progress. I am undoubtedly a stubborn person but I am also a person who doesn't wish to take up too much of other people's time, meaning what I believed would happen was me consistently falling on my face for an hour before convincing my friends that there were probably many far better uses for their time. What I hadn't bet on was that my friends were just as stubborn as I, and despite my annoyance at the task at hand that they would continue to kindly but firmly encourage me to continue. We must have spent 10 hours or so in Regents Park over those two days, with a portion of that time being spent with me being defeatist and frustrated, giving my friends good reason to go home. However, I continued to perservere and so did they. By Sunday evening I had ridden a bike for about 30 seconds without stopping and without someone holding on to the seat. This may seem like nothing to some, but this is the most progress I had made in about 15 years of regular attempts. What kept me going was my two friends cheering me on when I succeeded and helping me up when I fell. What kept me positive was having someone to tell me that they understood it was hard but simultaneously tell me I could do it.
We still have a way to go. Now that we know I can do it, what we are working on is getting me to stop panicking once I get going. What will also be a new challenge is getting me on the path rather than the grass, unafraid of falling off in front of others. I had a bit of a wobble at the end of Monday's session, as I had attempted the path but fallen, attracting the attention of 4 different strangers. It wasn't so much that I was ashamed but more so that I wanted the same opportunity as others to learn anonymously and I didn't want their looks and their questions. As my last post suggests, myself and others don't like being called inspirational simply for living with disability. However, after that fall one of my friends told me that what I was doing was 'brave' because most people don't have to have their early bike riding experiences stand out or be different, and in that moment my friend had given me the acknowledgement I needed. I didn't need to be patronised or told that my disability meant it was okay not to give it a go, I'd heard that before and while there have been grains of truth it was never useful. What I needed was to have some recognise that this was bloody hard but help me do it anyway, and that was exactly what my friends did for me this week.
I have written this post for 5 reasons:
A) To explain my lateness in posting
B) To tell you that these things aren't always impossible but I understand that they aren't easy either
C) To say that they are a lot easier with the right support
D) To remind you that more often than not it isn't late
E) Most importantly, to thank my friends (they know who they are) for just being awesome
Part of how awesome my friends are is the fact they are willing to continue helping me in this endeavour, with lessons resuming soon. I will keep you updated on my progress and I will continue appreciating great friendship when I find it.
See you later Alligators!
Freya x
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