Able and Disabled

 Hello All! The title of this post might seem a bit silly. Honestly, I've been dealing with a lot of stress and fatigue lately and I've had this idea for several months so I decided to go for a light hearted post today. However, I do think this is an interesting conversation, especially for an autistic Trekkie like myself. Over the last year or so Star Trek has become a huge special interest and comfort show for me, having been introduced to it during a very difficult time by some very special and important people.  Spock has been adopted by many as an autistic icon for some time now. His literal thinking, difficulties with interaction and rigid behaviours are relatable for many on the spectrum. This has been undoubtedly strengthened by the questionable and unspoken portrayal of Dr Sheldon Cooper as autistic in The Big Bang Theory. For Sheldon Spock is not only a relatable character but a hero and role model. It is clear that Sheldon wants to be more like Spock than he already...

Hi there! I know that's it's been a while since I've posted here. Being on my year abroad and consequently coming back from my year abroad were big challenges for me and I felt like I needed some time to just readjust and settle back in at home, but today I felt like I really need to speak so I'm back! I know it's been said a million times already but we are truly living in 'unprecedented' times and I hope you are all staying well and safe. I also hope you are trying to be responsible in how you engage with the outside world and those around you. However, what I want to talk about today isn't the pandemic itself, but rather what life will look for those of us who are disabled and/or neurodiverse post-pandemic. Obviously we are no where near going back to complete normality right now but, at least in the UK, rules are starting to relax and the world around us is starting to open up again, be it slowly. This has got me thinking about the challenges po...

Hey! I hope you are well! Today I wanted to talk about autism and the difficulties of achieving a healthy life balance. This is something I've really found myself struggling with over the last couple of years. One massive misunderstanding surrounding autism is that overload is purely sensory when in fact there are many other aspects which can contribute to feeling overload, including managing too much. I find that as an autistic person things that others may find easy to cope with or ordinary tasks can be a lot more tasking for myself and mentally draining, making it harder to balance lots of things at once. When I was younger I very much thrived on routine and the fact that I had very few things to focus on; my main responsibility was my education and I had particular social groups I attended on particular days, that worked well for me. Since the age of about 16 I've learnt that adult life isn't quite as simple as that, as it encompasses many other rewarding but challe...

Hey! I hope you are well! I've been SUPER busy with my new job so apologies if I've been a bit quiet online recently. In the search for coping mechanisms to help me manage my own well being and working full-time I've been dive back into the online autistic community and it's raised a question for myself: what if I had been diagnosed earlier? That's what I want to talk about today. One of the loudest arguments I hear for the hesitation around diagnosing young people as autistic is that it places a label on them too early in life. As someone who was diagnosed a bit later than you'd normally expect I see serious issues with this argument. As an undiagnosed autistic person I spent years having labels put on me; weird, socially awkward, annoying, basically every label but the correct one; autistic. All these incorrect labels were the truly detrimental ones, the ones that knocked my confidence. The correct diagnosis of autism isn't just a label, it's under...

Hey! I hope you've had a great week and if you were involved I hope you had a fab Autism Awareness Week! Today I wanted to talk about autism again because something I experience a lot, including recently, is people questioning how autistic I am. Quite often the way it's worded isn't suggesting that I'm not autistic but rather that I'm not THAT autistic, which is still frustrating because it can feel like the ways in which I do struggle are being undermined. Today I thought I'd talk about why this might be an impression that some people have of me and why it can be SUPER annoying! First, different people see different sides of me. This can be for a number of reasons; how close we are, what kind of situations we experience together and how often we see each other. Masking is a common trait among those on the spectrum. It's not so much that we're being fact, we're still us, but simply that we might be focusing really hard on things such as social sk...

Hey! I hope that everyone, both those who are neurodiverse and those who are not, is having an awesome Autism Awareness Week! This week is a great opportunity to share and hear many amazing stories from those on the spectrum, and potentially learn something new whether you are autistic or not! Today, at the halfway mark of the week, I thought that I would share a slightly fuller story of my experience with autism as an autistic person who was diagnosed less than a year ago. Around the time of my diagnosis I did share what that process was like for me. However, many of those who received later ASC (Autism Spectrum Condition) or ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) diagnosis will tell you, your story is never quite as simple as having a suspicion, seeing a doctor and being diagnosed. That is what I wanted to talk about today. (Freya is 12 years old and standing in a rock pool, looking rather cold) In my diagnosis post I spoke about seeing a doctor about my experiences during sixth f...

Hey! Hope you are well! Sorry for the short break, things are really tough at the moment but I am working on getting help. But I'm back, and just in time for Autism Awareness Week! This last year, following my own diagnosis of ASC (Autism Spectrum Condition) last summer, autism has kind of become it's own special interest for me. This isn't uncommon from what I've heard of other's diagnosis experiences, many of us on the spectrum enjoy intense research and figuring things out and a diagnosis which could help to explain a lifetime of difficulties is a big deal. A big part of this year has been figuring out what autism means for me and raising awareness to the fact that I am autistic to those around me, both for my own sake and for the wider community. My first AAW has come at a weird time for me. My mental health is in a very difficult place right now, as I continue to struggle with depression and anxiety as well as the consequences of how I deal with these conditi...

Hey! So the last six months have flown by and here we are, I have officially graduated from the Scope For Change Programme. The graduation itself was amazing! It was wonderful to see so many of my awesome friends again and to hear from some great guest speakers, especially Sam Renke who is absolute activism goals! However, today I thought I would focus on the programme itself and what I've taking away from it because I feel so grateful and blessed to have been given this opportunity to grow and work with so many fabulous people. (Freya accepting her certificate for completing Scope For Change) How to put Scope For Change into words? Inspiration, Friendship, Encouragement, Support; it's so difficult to sum up such a huge experience into such few words. To help I thought I would share with you the speech I gave at the Graduation on the 14th (such a lovely way to spend Valentines Day, it was wonderful!): Hello, my name is Freya. I’m a twenty year old student studying Ti...

Hey! Hope you are well. I've been pretty overwhelmed recently but today I wanted to discuss the access to BSL (British Sign Language) within our community. I've personally wanted to start learning BSL for sometime now, but along with being busy it's difficult to know my place within this particular space. BSL isn't just for the severely deaf but is used by many within the hard of hearing community who may struggle with clarity or understanding. Furthermore, sign language can be used by many without hearing problems but who struggle with communication for any reason, such as those living on the autistic spectrum. My hearing loss is mild. In 1:1 conversations or when I'm watching something on my own I can cope without my hearing aids. However, in loud or heightened social situations I can definitely struggle to gain clarity and fully know what is going on around me. In these kinds of circumstances knowing some basic BSL and being able to share that knowledge with ...

Hey! Hope you are well! Sorry for the slight break in posts over Christmas, I just felt that following some of my difficulties at the end of last term I needed that time to take care of myself and relieve some of the pressure I felt under. Now I am back and I'm looking forward to a whole new year of content and conversation, especially since there will be so much to talk about, such as my year abroad and turning 21! It looks as though there will lots of new, exciting things happening on this blog in 2019! Mental health and the new year is what I wanted to talk about today. New Year's Resolutions are always an interesting topic; some people make them and some people don't, some people stick to them and some people abandon them. My New Year's Resolutions last year were very focused upon work and productivity. My focus was mostly upon getting a job, saving money and specific grade goals, and while all these goals were incredibly important at the time and I still want t...

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Anxiety, Stress, Mental Health Hey! I hope you've been well. Honestly, I've been finding the last couple of weeks very challenging; physically and emotionally. To anyone who has spent time with me recently this will not be a surprise. This first term has been tough and it has knocked me and it has tired me, and it is only now that I've started to show myself my kind of compassion that I have needed. Today I thought that I'd talk a little about my recent experiences with burnout, stress and mental health as an autistic person with mental health and physical health challenges, partially for awareness and partially to let anyone who is having a difficult time right now know that they are not alone and that it is okay to struggle. I have always been one to push myself and expect myself to be capable of doing more and more; in short I have never been very good at showing kindness to myself. I have always been heavily critical of myself and have always...

Hey All! Something that a lot of people may not know about me is that I perform as a drag king at my university, essentially meaning that every couple of months or so I adorn a suit and mustache and lip sync to my heart's content. What I wanted to talk about today is the relationship between my performance and my autism and my anxiety and how being a drag king has helped me. I thought that now would be a good time to talk about this part of my life and how it intertwines with some of my struggles because I have a show tonight, so wish me luck! I perform as Lord Edwards at my university, a dapper and fabulous man who loves to dance and perform (often in purple glitter!) I don't know if I could say that Lord Edwards isn't autistic because ultimately he shares a lot of my quirkiness and eccentricity, parts of myself which may be difficult to separate from my autistic identity. This isn't to say that autism is my personality, but rather that the two can be difficult to ...

Hey All! Sorry for my absence last week. Things haven't been overly easy recently and I needed to focus on coping with the basics for a little while but today I'm back to have an honest chat about the importance of speaking out about mental health, why this can be difficult and why it is especially important not to feel bad for struggling. Over the last term I have been struggling, both with individual circumstances and with my mental health but I really want to work on my self-compassion and being open when I am having a difficult time. Ultimately that is exactly the kind of thing that all my work on here and with #InvisiblyValid is all about, overcoming stigma and feeling valid in our experiences. Having found myself struggling with anxiety and mood related issues throughout my life I have and still do experience the difficulties attached to being open about your mental health struggles. I think it's especially important to recognise that stigma isn't overcome onc...

Hey All, Unsurprisingly, following my diagnosis in the summer autism has become sort of its own special interest in my life. This is an experience which I have heard a few different people talk about online and it is my opinion that this comes from our instinctive need to research and understand. At least personally the way I process things is often by learning about them, meaning that the way I process is often less emotional and more informative. For this reason I have read a lot of books about autism in the months after my diagnosis. I think that this way of processing the diagnosis is more common than we may think, a fact that is suggested to me in part because I was actually recommended a few different books on my diagnosis letter. I have read several books and have found helpful parts in all of them, whether they be fiction, non-fiction or more of a memoir. However, I recently read 'Odd Girl Out' by Laura James and this was a book that I not only found useful but also f...

Hey All! I'm sorry that this week's post is a day late. I took some time last night to be with friends and breathe. It's this current need for breathing space which I would like to talk about this evening. We all have the capacity for overload and stress but I do believe that there is an additional element of natural anxiety that may need considering. Today has been a tough day for me in some ways. There's been a lot that I am learning to balance, some old things in new combinations, like friendships and university, and some completely new things, such as work, and today I think it all got the better of me a bit today, making the day a bit of a challenge. However, what I think usual doesn't help, and for me this was something I have been struggling with, is the pressure to be productive. We live in a world where your value as an individual is too often based upon what you can offer and what you can achieve. While it is often positive to encourage others to aim h...

Hi Guys! Sorry for not posting as usual on Wednesday. I've actually got a bit of a cold at the moment and I thought that's what I would talk today; disability and illness. Obviously many of those who live with chronic illness would identify themselves as disability but today what I want to talk about is rather the experience of minor illness or sickness (e.g. bugs, flus, etc.) with disability, as I think it's not something that is often talked about. I would like to talk about sickness in regards to both physical and neurological disabilities and why being sick when you already live with other conditions can be a potentially frustrating experience. Please remember that when I am talking about physical symptoms that I am not a professional and that I am only talking from personal experience. I think the experience of disability and sickness that is most understood is that of physical disability. It is completely understandable that if you already live and experience a c...

Hey All! I hope everyone is well! For those of us at university term one is now in full swing. At this point it is easy and understandable to start feeling a little overwhelmed. I know that with both university and work, I have found myself experiencing an increase in instances of overload, particularly as a student with autism. It is often part of student and autistic nature to want to push through the overload, meltdowns and shutdowns and keep on working but too often this is actually the worst thing you can do. Sure, you need to keep on top of assignments and due dates but it is also important not to push yourself too far because if you burn out it is likely you'll struggle to do anything at all. As an autistic individual I find myself often seeking and relying upon routine and plans. In order to prevent myself overwhelmed and make sure that everything gets done I've been creating weekly schedules for myself, containing my classes, shifts and the work I need to do at hom...

Hey All! Sorry for the delay in posting, it's been kind of a hectic week! That's actually part of why I've chosen to talk about 'Functioning Labels' today. Both those within and outside of the autistic community will be aware of the phrases 'High Functioning' and 'Low Functioning' but less people will probably be aware of the controversy surrounding them. I've heard several different people define these terms several different ways. Some people use quite a broad definition of 'High Functioning,' using it to mean anyone they deem to be 'coping,' while others seem to use a very specific definition as a reference to average IQ and the ability to talk. Regardless of the exact intended meaning of these phrases many of us believe them to be outdated and unhelpful. There are two primary problems with the use of 'Functioning Labels' and this is what I wish to discuss. Firstly, we don't always feel 'High Functioning....