Autism and Balance: I'm not there yet
Hey!
I hope you are well! Today I wanted to talk about autism and the difficulties of achieving a healthy life balance. This is something I've really found myself struggling with over the last couple of years. One massive misunderstanding surrounding autism is that overload is purely sensory when in fact there are many other aspects which can contribute to feeling overload, including managing too much. I find that as an autistic person things that others may find easy to cope with or ordinary tasks can be a lot more tasking for myself and mentally draining, making it harder to balance lots of things at once.
When I was younger I very much thrived on routine and the fact that I had very few things to focus on; my main responsibility was my education and I had particular social groups I attended on particular days, that worked well for me. Since the age of about 16 I've learnt that adult life isn't quite as simple as that, as it encompasses many other rewarding but challenging facets. For me personally I have found these facets difficult to engage with in unison; combined studying, working, socializing and maintaining relationships has at times proved far more difficult for myself. I believe this to be due to the fact that individually these things are challenging for me, sensory, emotionally, socially overwhelming, as well as triggering for the low level anxiety I've always lived with. In combination things only get more difficult, often resulting in burnout and meltdown. I am naturally a very focused person and often I have to be in order to function but this trait can prove to be hindering when attempting to multi-task; messages can go unanswered and gatherings not attended because I need time to recover from my other commitments. Sometimes if I am struggling with severe burnout even getting out of bed, looking after myself and communicating can be difficult.
My last true attempt at this level of multitasking was during my second year when I was trying my best to balance full time study, a part time job, a social life and a relationship. This would be difficult for anybody but for me this was near impossible; I was constantly on edge, burnt out and having meltdowns. The task of managing all these individual aspects and carrying the anxiety each caused me, despite their rewards, was draining. This has been a hard truth to face, that I may always struggle with maintaining a fully rounded life, but it is one I am trying to accept without self-judgement of defeat. To be honest this is something I am still struggling with, as I still find myself becoming overloaded and without the necessary level of executive functioning.
What does this mean for the future? To be honest I am not entirely certain, At this moment in time the future I imagine working best for myself is one in which I have friends, family and maybe a partner who love and care for me, but where I still have the necessary space and time I need for own well-being; a career in which I am able to focus on my subject and thrive due to my own talents and attributes; a home which is my sanctuary and self-space. For now I am still learning what is best for me but that is a journey I look forward to.
Lots of love <3
See you later Alligator,
Frey
I hope you are well! Today I wanted to talk about autism and the difficulties of achieving a healthy life balance. This is something I've really found myself struggling with over the last couple of years. One massive misunderstanding surrounding autism is that overload is purely sensory when in fact there are many other aspects which can contribute to feeling overload, including managing too much. I find that as an autistic person things that others may find easy to cope with or ordinary tasks can be a lot more tasking for myself and mentally draining, making it harder to balance lots of things at once.
When I was younger I very much thrived on routine and the fact that I had very few things to focus on; my main responsibility was my education and I had particular social groups I attended on particular days, that worked well for me. Since the age of about 16 I've learnt that adult life isn't quite as simple as that, as it encompasses many other rewarding but challenging facets. For me personally I have found these facets difficult to engage with in unison; combined studying, working, socializing and maintaining relationships has at times proved far more difficult for myself. I believe this to be due to the fact that individually these things are challenging for me, sensory, emotionally, socially overwhelming, as well as triggering for the low level anxiety I've always lived with. In combination things only get more difficult, often resulting in burnout and meltdown. I am naturally a very focused person and often I have to be in order to function but this trait can prove to be hindering when attempting to multi-task; messages can go unanswered and gatherings not attended because I need time to recover from my other commitments. Sometimes if I am struggling with severe burnout even getting out of bed, looking after myself and communicating can be difficult.
(Social Frey in their first year of university)
My last true attempt at this level of multitasking was during my second year when I was trying my best to balance full time study, a part time job, a social life and a relationship. This would be difficult for anybody but for me this was near impossible; I was constantly on edge, burnt out and having meltdowns. The task of managing all these individual aspects and carrying the anxiety each caused me, despite their rewards, was draining. This has been a hard truth to face, that I may always struggle with maintaining a fully rounded life, but it is one I am trying to accept without self-judgement of defeat. To be honest this is something I am still struggling with, as I still find myself becoming overloaded and without the necessary level of executive functioning.
What does this mean for the future? To be honest I am not entirely certain, At this moment in time the future I imagine working best for myself is one in which I have friends, family and maybe a partner who love and care for me, but where I still have the necessary space and time I need for own well-being; a career in which I am able to focus on my subject and thrive due to my own talents and attributes; a home which is my sanctuary and self-space. For now I am still learning what is best for me but that is a journey I look forward to.
Lots of love <3
See you later Alligator,
Frey
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