Able and Disabled

Hey! I hope that everyone, both those who are neurodiverse and those who are not, is having an awesome Autism Awareness Week! This week is a great opportunity to share and hear many amazing stories from those on the spectrum, and potentially learn something new whether you are autistic or not! Today, at the halfway mark of the week, I thought that I would share a slightly fuller story of my experience with autism as an autistic person who was diagnosed less than a year ago. Around the time of my diagnosis I did share what that process was like for me. However, many of those who received later ASC (Autism Spectrum Condition) or ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) diagnosis will tell you, your story is never quite as simple as having a suspicion, seeing a doctor and being diagnosed. That is what I wanted to talk about today. (Freya is 12 years old and standing in a rock pool, looking rather cold) In my diagnosis post I spoke about seeing a doctor about my experiences during sixth f...

Hey! I hope you're well and have been taking good care of yourself. If you read my last post you may remember that one aspect of my recent difficulties has been a recent increase in my hair pulling, a behaviour linked to an impulse control disorder I have called trichotillomania. If you've never heard of this condition (trust me you're not alone!) the NHS defines the disorder as  " when someone can't resist the urge to pull out their hair." It is often classified as an Impulse Control Disorder, or more recently a BFRB, which stands for Body Focused Repetitive Behaviour. The most important thing to remember about Trich is that regardless of whether the individual is pulling consciously or subconsciously they most likely have no control over this behaviour. There is a very good reason why it is understood as a disorder of one's ability to control the particular impulse to pull. I've been struggling with Trichotillomania for somewhere around seven yea...

Hey! I've been having a shit time recently and I've been struggling to talk about that truth. Being able to admit to anyone that I've been struggling with my mental health has taken me about five months. Anyone who follows my blog will know that I am the biggest advocate for breaking down the stigma surrounding mental health and being open about our personal battles, but sometimes that is easier said than done and we shouldn't be judged when we struggle to be open. Mental health is an incredibly difficult thing to deal with because you are ill but you can also have your brain telling you that you have no reason to be ill or that it's shameful to be ill or that it's your own fault to be ill (which are all lies of course). However, right now I feel like I need to talk and I want to talk so that's what I'm going to do. TRIGGER WARNINGS: Depression, Anxiety, Self-Esteem, Trichotillomania, Mental Health ❤ I don't really feel like discussing the...

Hey! I hope you are well and having a fantastic 2019 so far! I can't believe that we are already halfway through the first month of the year! Today I wanted to talk about cerebral palsy, a topic I haven't focused very much recently. Even though cerebral palsy affects me in many ways every single day, I no longer receive regular medical attention for this particular facet of my disability and not a lot changes in my condition. For this reason I perhaps talk about cerebral palsy a little less; it's the diagnosis I've lived with the longest and is the most stagnant. However, I recently made the decision to purchase myself a walking stick and thought this may be a good experience to share. As I have already mentioned, I don't really see any doctors or other medical professionals on the basis of cerebral palsy anymore, meaning that the decision to get a stick was entirely my own. I don't think that this fact makes my decision or use of a walking stick any less va...

Hey All! Sorry for my absence last week. Things haven't been overly easy recently and I needed to focus on coping with the basics for a little while but today I'm back to have an honest chat about the importance of speaking out about mental health, why this can be difficult and why it is especially important not to feel bad for struggling. Over the last term I have been struggling, both with individual circumstances and with my mental health but I really want to work on my self-compassion and being open when I am having a difficult time. Ultimately that is exactly the kind of thing that all my work on here and with #InvisiblyValid is all about, overcoming stigma and feeling valid in our experiences. Having found myself struggling with anxiety and mood related issues throughout my life I have and still do experience the difficulties attached to being open about your mental health struggles. I think it's especially important to recognise that stigma isn't overcome onc...

Hey All! Hope everyone is well! Just yesterday I stumbled across a Facebook memory from this time last year during #BFRBWeek, and it really got me thinking about progress and how we define progress. At that point in time I had no eyebrows and a small bald patch in the centre of my hairline. I was pulling everyday and losing considerable amounts of hair. Now I have eyebrows, my hairline is slowly become full again and I have my urges far more under control. But, do I still have trichotillomania? Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly happy with and proud of how far I have come, but that doesn't mean that the 'progress' doesn't terrify me! The word 'progress' comes with pressure. You don't really want to say you've beaten something like trichotillomania because it just makes it 100x more heartbreaking and scary if you do relapse. It's that pressure to be 'cured' first time, to do recovery perfectly. However, this is very rarely our actualise...