Mental Health Chat: Why it's Good to Talk
Hey All!
Sorry for my absence last week. Things haven't been overly easy recently and I needed to focus on coping with the basics for a little while but today I'm back to have an honest chat about the importance of speaking out about mental health, why this can be difficult and why it is especially important not to feel bad for struggling. Over the last term I have been struggling, both with individual circumstances and with my mental health but I really want to work on my self-compassion and being open when I am having a difficult time. Ultimately that is exactly the kind of thing that all my work on here and with #InvisiblyValid is all about, overcoming stigma and feeling valid in our experiences.
Having found myself struggling with anxiety and mood related issues throughout my life I have and still do experience the difficulties attached to being open about your mental health struggles. I think it's especially important to recognise that stigma isn't overcome once and never faced again. I have had to speak out about struggling in the past, found it difficult, and then still found it difficult to do the next time I've hit a rough patch. Unfortunately we live in a society that for it is currently doing to combat mental health stigma now, has historically encouraged us not to talk about what is hurting us or what we are struggling with. For this reason it is completely understandable that someone would be nervous or hesitant. Being honest about struggling with your mental health can also cause you to feel very vulnerable and often involves talking about very personal experiences. I say all this to demonstrate that I do understand how hard it can be to open up. However, despite all of this it is crucial that when we struggling we talk to someone. No-one should have to struggle alone and no one has to. I understand with all my heart that it can be scary and that it can feel hopeless, like there's nothing that can be done but there's always something. Whether it's just opening up to a friend or family member so that you have someone to talk to or arranging an appointment with your doctor to look at more specialised types of help, it is always better to speak up.
I have often struggled to be open about my mental health struggles. Each time I hit one of these rough patches, one of these mountains, it feels like I have to teach myself to talk all over again. Recently I've been struggling with both circumstantial issues and with more mental health specific issues. Similar to previous experiences, I've been going through a period where I've been struggling with things that have happened and where I also know that I would be struggling without any of those specific problems. I don't say this for sympathy or as a call for help; I'm okay and I have started better communicating with those around me and who support me. I say this simply to be honest and to be visible. I have somewhat struggled to open about my feelings in this period though, and I think that is an important thing to recognise. I think that this could be for a number of reasons. One is that I have never been very good at recognising my emotions, which could be a part of my autistic experience. Generally, I have always been able to tell whether I've felt good or bad but have it's often taken me time to figure out what the specific negative emotion I am feeling, whether I'm angry, sad, embarrassed, etc. This can make opening up about how I'm feeling a lengthy process. Secondly, I have always worried about upsetting others and have sometimes worried that my being upset would upset them. Thirdly, I have always been afraid of being vulnerable and when you tell someone about something as personal as your mental health struggles you risk getting hurt, being judged or rejected. Ultimately, these last two reasons are not good reasons not to talk about your struggles but the feelings attached to them are still valid and need to appreciate. At the end of the day if you need to open up to get better you shouldn't be prioritising not annoying someone else and should be focusing on find someone who can help you.
One thing I've found particularly difficult over the last few years is not feeling bad for struggling. When you're going through a bad period with your mental health it's easy to find yourself thinking that you have no reason to be struggling or that you just can't cope like everyone else or that you're week. All of these thoughts are wrong. You don't need a reason to have a mental health problem or to be finding life difficult and it doesn't make you any less strong. I have a nasty habit of comparing myself to others and thinking that other people's problems invalidate my own but that's not how mental health works and if you are in pain you deserve to feel able to speak out and be listened to. If you had a cold you wouldn't feel guilty or tell yourself it's your fault or that you only got a cold for attention. You also wouldn't reject care because someone else has pneumonia. It appears to me that we all need to start treating our mental health as we would our physical health and practice a little more self-love.
Look after yourselves.
See you later Alligator!
Freya x
DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional and am only speaking from my own experiences.
PHOTO SOURCE: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-38483120
Sorry for my absence last week. Things haven't been overly easy recently and I needed to focus on coping with the basics for a little while but today I'm back to have an honest chat about the importance of speaking out about mental health, why this can be difficult and why it is especially important not to feel bad for struggling. Over the last term I have been struggling, both with individual circumstances and with my mental health but I really want to work on my self-compassion and being open when I am having a difficult time. Ultimately that is exactly the kind of thing that all my work on here and with #InvisiblyValid is all about, overcoming stigma and feeling valid in our experiences.
Having found myself struggling with anxiety and mood related issues throughout my life I have and still do experience the difficulties attached to being open about your mental health struggles. I think it's especially important to recognise that stigma isn't overcome once and never faced again. I have had to speak out about struggling in the past, found it difficult, and then still found it difficult to do the next time I've hit a rough patch. Unfortunately we live in a society that for it is currently doing to combat mental health stigma now, has historically encouraged us not to talk about what is hurting us or what we are struggling with. For this reason it is completely understandable that someone would be nervous or hesitant. Being honest about struggling with your mental health can also cause you to feel very vulnerable and often involves talking about very personal experiences. I say all this to demonstrate that I do understand how hard it can be to open up. However, despite all of this it is crucial that when we struggling we talk to someone. No-one should have to struggle alone and no one has to. I understand with all my heart that it can be scary and that it can feel hopeless, like there's nothing that can be done but there's always something. Whether it's just opening up to a friend or family member so that you have someone to talk to or arranging an appointment with your doctor to look at more specialised types of help, it is always better to speak up.
I have often struggled to be open about my mental health struggles. Each time I hit one of these rough patches, one of these mountains, it feels like I have to teach myself to talk all over again. Recently I've been struggling with both circumstantial issues and with more mental health specific issues. Similar to previous experiences, I've been going through a period where I've been struggling with things that have happened and where I also know that I would be struggling without any of those specific problems. I don't say this for sympathy or as a call for help; I'm okay and I have started better communicating with those around me and who support me. I say this simply to be honest and to be visible. I have somewhat struggled to open about my feelings in this period though, and I think that is an important thing to recognise. I think that this could be for a number of reasons. One is that I have never been very good at recognising my emotions, which could be a part of my autistic experience. Generally, I have always been able to tell whether I've felt good or bad but have it's often taken me time to figure out what the specific negative emotion I am feeling, whether I'm angry, sad, embarrassed, etc. This can make opening up about how I'm feeling a lengthy process. Secondly, I have always worried about upsetting others and have sometimes worried that my being upset would upset them. Thirdly, I have always been afraid of being vulnerable and when you tell someone about something as personal as your mental health struggles you risk getting hurt, being judged or rejected. Ultimately, these last two reasons are not good reasons not to talk about your struggles but the feelings attached to them are still valid and need to appreciate. At the end of the day if you need to open up to get better you shouldn't be prioritising not annoying someone else and should be focusing on find someone who can help you.
One thing I've found particularly difficult over the last few years is not feeling bad for struggling. When you're going through a bad period with your mental health it's easy to find yourself thinking that you have no reason to be struggling or that you just can't cope like everyone else or that you're week. All of these thoughts are wrong. You don't need a reason to have a mental health problem or to be finding life difficult and it doesn't make you any less strong. I have a nasty habit of comparing myself to others and thinking that other people's problems invalidate my own but that's not how mental health works and if you are in pain you deserve to feel able to speak out and be listened to. If you had a cold you wouldn't feel guilty or tell yourself it's your fault or that you only got a cold for attention. You also wouldn't reject care because someone else has pneumonia. It appears to me that we all need to start treating our mental health as we would our physical health and practice a little more self-love.
Look after yourselves.
See you later Alligator!
Freya x
DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional and am only speaking from my own experiences.
PHOTO SOURCE: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-38483120
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