Able and Disabled

Hey! I hope you're well and have been taking good care of yourself. If you read my last post you may remember that one aspect of my recent difficulties has been a recent increase in my hair pulling, a behaviour linked to an impulse control disorder I have called trichotillomania. If you've never heard of this condition (trust me you're not alone!) the NHS defines the disorder as  " when someone can't resist the urge to pull out their hair." It is often classified as an Impulse Control Disorder, or more recently a BFRB, which stands for Body Focused Repetitive Behaviour. The most important thing to remember about Trich is that regardless of whether the individual is pulling consciously or subconsciously they most likely have no control over this behaviour. There is a very good reason why it is understood as a disorder of one's ability to control the particular impulse to pull. I've been struggling with Trichotillomania for somewhere around seven yea...

Hey! I've been having a shit time recently and I've been struggling to talk about that truth. Being able to admit to anyone that I've been struggling with my mental health has taken me about five months. Anyone who follows my blog will know that I am the biggest advocate for breaking down the stigma surrounding mental health and being open about our personal battles, but sometimes that is easier said than done and we shouldn't be judged when we struggle to be open. Mental health is an incredibly difficult thing to deal with because you are ill but you can also have your brain telling you that you have no reason to be ill or that it's shameful to be ill or that it's your own fault to be ill (which are all lies of course). However, right now I feel like I need to talk and I want to talk so that's what I'm going to do. TRIGGER WARNINGS: Depression, Anxiety, Self-Esteem, Trichotillomania, Mental Health ❤ I don't really feel like discussing the...

Hey Everyone! I have always been a restless person. As a child I found it especially difficult to stay still, and now I am able to recognise much of my fidgety behaviour as stimming. Particular methods of stimming or particular movements that I have been able to recognise seem to be heightened when I am especially under or over stimulated. When I am bored or there is little going on I have always tended to bite my nails, chew on my clothes or bounce my legs. When I am excited or anxious I jump, skip, flap my hands and also bounce my legs. I find such movements soothing and also balancing when the situation is either too much or too little. While such behaviour was not recognised as stimming when I was child I am now able to reflect and recognise it as such. Particular examples that spring to mind include chewing on my school uniform and hair, bouncing around and swinging my arms. Of course, as this description would suggest, stimming behaviour can be performed using only what a perso...

TW: Trichotillomania, Hair Loss, Anxiety Hello All! As it does for many, this period marks the beginning of exam season for me. I don't really talk about trichotillomania as a separate or independent, partially due to the fashion in which I was diagnosed and partially because for me personally my trich is closely related to my anxiety disorder. Trichotillomania is an incredibly complex and misunderstood condition. Translated as 'hair madness' is normally seen as quite manic or purposeful behaviour. For me sometimes it is. Sometimes when I am particularly stressed or overwhelmed I have a need to pull and it can seem quite aggressive. However, the majority of the time my trich is just me sitting at my desk with my hand in my hair (p.s. sorry but also not sorry if you ever sit next to me in the library and the table ends up covered in hair). For me playing with my hair has always been a comfort, as a child I would constantly be chewing on or fiddling with my hair. When I...