Should I Tell People I Have ASC?
Hey All!
I can't even start to put the last couple of weeks into words. One thing in particular that has been taking up a lot of space in my brain has been the question of whether I should tell people I have been diagnosed as autistic, and if so who should I tell. This blog post is not an answer to these questions. I don't want anyone to feel as though this post is telling anyone what to do, as ultimately who you let into your diagnosis is a personal decision that only you are and should be allowed to make. This post is simply me collecting my own thoughts on this issue and talking about it from my own experience, partially for my own benefit and partially because it may be interesting to others, including those who may be able to empathise with my journey.
Part of the package when being diagnosed as an adult is the fact that people will most likely have a preconceived idea of who you are already. Some people, especially those closest to you, may already have a pretty good understanding of the difficulties you face so a diagnosis of an autism spectrum condition (ASC) may fit pretty well into their perception of you, but for others the pieces may not click so quickly. We experience different levels of intimacy with different intimacy with different people so it is understandable that different people will be allowed different levels of access into our lives. This means, especially for autistic adults who may have developed convincing coping mechanisms, that some people may attempt to deny the truth of your label. This was definitely something that I experienced prior to assessment, people well meaningly telling me that that I seemed normal to them and that I didn't fit their definition of autism, but it is also something that undeniably enters my head when thinking about telling others about having been told I have ASC. Obviously I in no way believe that the fear of others not believing a diagnosis a PROFESSIONAL has given you should stop you opening up if you wish to, but that doesn't make it any less valid a concern. It is exactly pleasant when someone doubts you or doesn't trust how well you know yourself. Additionally, there is the fear that if a particularly influential important person doesn't accept your truth it could act as a barrier to support and resources. This shouldn't be something we fear. We shouldn't have to worry about whether others believe us. However, for many of us who go undetected and unnoticed it can still be a genuine concern.
For me there is also the fact that I don't want things to change too much. I know this kinda contradicts what I just said about access to support and adjustments, but what I am talking about here is people's attitudes rather than resources. If there are things that can be put in place to better help me that's great, but what I don't want is others doubting my ability to do things when I've already demonstrated that I can. I don't want my relationships to become awkward or complicated because those around me now feel the need to walk on eggshells around me. It is always obvious when people are attempting to help where that desire to help comes from; fear and panic or kindness and concern. I would much prefer someone help me find a way to make tasks more manageable rather than taking them away from me; I think it's awesome if friends demonstrate to me that are trying to better understand and accommodate for my difficulties but please don't go around acting like I could have a meltdown at any second. I am still the same person just with a different label that can help both you and myself understand me better. An example of this concern in action is my work; do I tell my work that I have ASC? I have already demonstrated that while I may struggle and have experienced meltdowns after some shifts, that I can do my job and I am not there for much longer. Will it only make thing more complicated? Will they treat me different? Of course people should feel able to be open about their diagnosis without fear of losing respect or trust but this does not invalidate the fear that opening up about diagnosis could shake things up a bit.
I have started to open up to people about my diagnosis but there are still some settings in which I am unsure about what approach to take. Ultimately I believe that if people wish to be completely open about being autistic then that is what is right for them and they should be made to feel comfortable about doing so. However, I also believe that if someone does not wish to disclose their diagnosis than that is also their choice and that no one should be made to go public. Many of the fears or concerns we may have about discussing our autism with others may be unwanted and we should work on creating a world in which they are non-existence, but right now that doesn't make them any less valid. Personally, I want to evidently feel 100% secure about discussing my ASC with anyone and everyone but right now I am just taking small in the right direction and taking my time to adjust to this new information.
Take Care <3
See you later Alligators!
Freya x
PHOTO SOURCES:
http://www.asanv.org/autism-awareness-month/
http://getdrawings.com/showing-kindness-clipart
I can't even start to put the last couple of weeks into words. One thing in particular that has been taking up a lot of space in my brain has been the question of whether I should tell people I have been diagnosed as autistic, and if so who should I tell. This blog post is not an answer to these questions. I don't want anyone to feel as though this post is telling anyone what to do, as ultimately who you let into your diagnosis is a personal decision that only you are and should be allowed to make. This post is simply me collecting my own thoughts on this issue and talking about it from my own experience, partially for my own benefit and partially because it may be interesting to others, including those who may be able to empathise with my journey.
Part of the package when being diagnosed as an adult is the fact that people will most likely have a preconceived idea of who you are already. Some people, especially those closest to you, may already have a pretty good understanding of the difficulties you face so a diagnosis of an autism spectrum condition (ASC) may fit pretty well into their perception of you, but for others the pieces may not click so quickly. We experience different levels of intimacy with different intimacy with different people so it is understandable that different people will be allowed different levels of access into our lives. This means, especially for autistic adults who may have developed convincing coping mechanisms, that some people may attempt to deny the truth of your label. This was definitely something that I experienced prior to assessment, people well meaningly telling me that that I seemed normal to them and that I didn't fit their definition of autism, but it is also something that undeniably enters my head when thinking about telling others about having been told I have ASC. Obviously I in no way believe that the fear of others not believing a diagnosis a PROFESSIONAL has given you should stop you opening up if you wish to, but that doesn't make it any less valid a concern. It is exactly pleasant when someone doubts you or doesn't trust how well you know yourself. Additionally, there is the fear that if a particularly influential important person doesn't accept your truth it could act as a barrier to support and resources. This shouldn't be something we fear. We shouldn't have to worry about whether others believe us. However, for many of us who go undetected and unnoticed it can still be a genuine concern.
For me there is also the fact that I don't want things to change too much. I know this kinda contradicts what I just said about access to support and adjustments, but what I am talking about here is people's attitudes rather than resources. If there are things that can be put in place to better help me that's great, but what I don't want is others doubting my ability to do things when I've already demonstrated that I can. I don't want my relationships to become awkward or complicated because those around me now feel the need to walk on eggshells around me. It is always obvious when people are attempting to help where that desire to help comes from; fear and panic or kindness and concern. I would much prefer someone help me find a way to make tasks more manageable rather than taking them away from me; I think it's awesome if friends demonstrate to me that are trying to better understand and accommodate for my difficulties but please don't go around acting like I could have a meltdown at any second. I am still the same person just with a different label that can help both you and myself understand me better. An example of this concern in action is my work; do I tell my work that I have ASC? I have already demonstrated that while I may struggle and have experienced meltdowns after some shifts, that I can do my job and I am not there for much longer. Will it only make thing more complicated? Will they treat me different? Of course people should feel able to be open about their diagnosis without fear of losing respect or trust but this does not invalidate the fear that opening up about diagnosis could shake things up a bit.
I have started to open up to people about my diagnosis but there are still some settings in which I am unsure about what approach to take. Ultimately I believe that if people wish to be completely open about being autistic then that is what is right for them and they should be made to feel comfortable about doing so. However, I also believe that if someone does not wish to disclose their diagnosis than that is also their choice and that no one should be made to go public. Many of the fears or concerns we may have about discussing our autism with others may be unwanted and we should work on creating a world in which they are non-existence, but right now that doesn't make them any less valid. Personally, I want to evidently feel 100% secure about discussing my ASC with anyone and everyone but right now I am just taking small in the right direction and taking my time to adjust to this new information.
Take Care <3
See you later Alligators!
Freya x
PHOTO SOURCES:
http://www.asanv.org/autism-awareness-month/
http://getdrawings.com/showing-kindness-clipart
Comments
Post a Comment