Masking and Autism: Why People Don't Believe I Have ASC
To mask means to cover or to conceal one's face but within the Autism community 'masking' is thought to have somewhat of a metaphorical definition. 'Masking' with autism refers to the act of camouflaging one's autistic traits, or pretending to be neurotypical. In the eyes of some this may suggest that the individual who is 'masking' isn't autistic at all but despite potential appearances, 'masking' does not come easily and can result in the same meltdowns experience post-overload. 'Masking' can entirely drain one's energy support while simultaneously preventing the individual from accessing the support they need, as one's efforts can make those around them entirely oblivious to the fact that they are struggling. 'Masking' is not the walk in the park or deceitful play that others might believe it to be.
We are becoming increasingly aware of the fact that women experience autism differently and part of that seems to be that they are better at 'masking' their difficulties. It is thought that this is because women and girls generally have a stronger social desire and feel an intense pressure to fit in, often being aware of their differences. For this reason instead of opening up about their struggles, many females and individuals presenting feminine traits continue trying to conform, exhausting themselves in the process. Paired with the sometimes distinctly different traits and intensities of feminine and masculine presentations of autism, what we left with is many, many girls and women left without diagnosis and without support. According to the National Autistic Society five times as many men as women are diagnosed with autism, but as many of us are aware that this statistic doesn't get anywhere close to telling the full story.
For me 'masking' has never been a case of being perceived as 'normal' (what ever the hell is!) but rather of not being so 'different' that people start looking for a reason. This idea may confuse some who know me because in many ways I've always worn my quirks on my sleeve, often embracing that may do or like different things to those around me. However, I've found it far more difficult to accept my social and emotional differences than my interest differences. I think it stems from this unfair fear that I am bothersome to others, as though I should conceal my difficulties because they may inconvenience to others. It perhaps links to these societal ideas that the one who doesn't get the joke ruins it or that meltdowns are an annoyance. We live in a societal where autistic individuals are encouraged to focus on how their difficulties are a hindrance to others rather than the impact they have upon their own lives. What we get in the end isn't a society where autistic people don't need support because they are 'masking,' but rather a society in which autistic people are made to feel as though they are not allowed support and therefore struggle even more.
I also think that this urge to mask comes from the fact that society has such little understanding around autism, often resulting in autistic people feeling less included in social situations. Though we shouldn't worry about and change to fit in, everyone wants to belong and have friends. Having friends is a positive feeling that it is healthy to want. Because society does so little to educate about autism and we as autistic individuals are aware of how others view are differences, autistic individuals often end up subconsciously 'masking' to feel accepted. I myself have experienced this. For many of those experiencing a female presentation of autism 'masking' can often involve copying those around you in social situations because it can be difficult to know to behave more instinctively in different situations. Although my interests and thoughts would remain the same, it was bought to my attention that the way I presented myself changed when at different schools within the consortium. This was because I was often closely imitating the body language and speech of different friendship groups, not to be fake but in an attempt to communicate with different people. We may not be aware we're 'masking' but that doesn't mean that we're not.
Ultimately I would like to live in a world where no one has to mask. However, at this moment in time the world is not designed for neurodiverse individuals. In both social sensory aspects our society has been kept in a way that suits neurotypical or non-autistic individuals and is often overwhelming for those experiencing life on the spectrum. If we want to make autistic people feel more comfortable being themselves in society we need to work on two many things; education and accessibility. Maybe then we won't need to mask so much.
Hope you're having a good week.
See you later Alligators!
Freya x
PHOTO SOURCE: https://www.autism.org.uk/womensday
We are becoming increasingly aware of the fact that women experience autism differently and part of that seems to be that they are better at 'masking' their difficulties. It is thought that this is because women and girls generally have a stronger social desire and feel an intense pressure to fit in, often being aware of their differences. For this reason instead of opening up about their struggles, many females and individuals presenting feminine traits continue trying to conform, exhausting themselves in the process. Paired with the sometimes distinctly different traits and intensities of feminine and masculine presentations of autism, what we left with is many, many girls and women left without diagnosis and without support. According to the National Autistic Society five times as many men as women are diagnosed with autism, but as many of us are aware that this statistic doesn't get anywhere close to telling the full story.
For me 'masking' has never been a case of being perceived as 'normal' (what ever the hell is!) but rather of not being so 'different' that people start looking for a reason. This idea may confuse some who know me because in many ways I've always worn my quirks on my sleeve, often embracing that may do or like different things to those around me. However, I've found it far more difficult to accept my social and emotional differences than my interest differences. I think it stems from this unfair fear that I am bothersome to others, as though I should conceal my difficulties because they may inconvenience to others. It perhaps links to these societal ideas that the one who doesn't get the joke ruins it or that meltdowns are an annoyance. We live in a societal where autistic individuals are encouraged to focus on how their difficulties are a hindrance to others rather than the impact they have upon their own lives. What we get in the end isn't a society where autistic people don't need support because they are 'masking,' but rather a society in which autistic people are made to feel as though they are not allowed support and therefore struggle even more.
I also think that this urge to mask comes from the fact that society has such little understanding around autism, often resulting in autistic people feeling less included in social situations. Though we shouldn't worry about and change to fit in, everyone wants to belong and have friends. Having friends is a positive feeling that it is healthy to want. Because society does so little to educate about autism and we as autistic individuals are aware of how others view are differences, autistic individuals often end up subconsciously 'masking' to feel accepted. I myself have experienced this. For many of those experiencing a female presentation of autism 'masking' can often involve copying those around you in social situations because it can be difficult to know to behave more instinctively in different situations. Although my interests and thoughts would remain the same, it was bought to my attention that the way I presented myself changed when at different schools within the consortium. This was because I was often closely imitating the body language and speech of different friendship groups, not to be fake but in an attempt to communicate with different people. We may not be aware we're 'masking' but that doesn't mean that we're not.
Ultimately I would like to live in a world where no one has to mask. However, at this moment in time the world is not designed for neurodiverse individuals. In both social sensory aspects our society has been kept in a way that suits neurotypical or non-autistic individuals and is often overwhelming for those experiencing life on the spectrum. If we want to make autistic people feel more comfortable being themselves in society we need to work on two many things; education and accessibility. Maybe then we won't need to mask so much.
Hope you're having a good week.
See you later Alligators!
Freya x
PHOTO SOURCE: https://www.autism.org.uk/womensday
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