Able and Disabled

Hey! I hope you are well! I've been SUPER busy with my new job so apologies if I've been a bit quiet online recently. In the search for coping mechanisms to help me manage my own well being and working full-time I've been dive back into the online autistic community and it's raised a question for myself: what if I had been diagnosed earlier? That's what I want to talk about today. One of the loudest arguments I hear for the hesitation around diagnosing young people as autistic is that it places a label on them too early in life. As someone who was diagnosed a bit later than you'd normally expect I see serious issues with this argument. As an undiagnosed autistic person I spent years having labels put on me; weird, socially awkward, annoying, basically every label but the correct one; autistic. All these incorrect labels were the truly detrimental ones, the ones that knocked my confidence. The correct diagnosis of autism isn't just a label, it's under...

It can be hard sometimes to maintain confidence when you can find things objectively more difficult than those around you. This is a feeling I've struggled with all my life; why are things harder for me? We're told to be grateful and I swear that I try to be; self-pity has never really been my style, but it can be hard not to be a little jaded after a period of reoccurring meltdowns or nagging back pain. Sometimes I get frustrated with the idea that I shouldn't be angry or feel that it's unfair, that I should lucky 100% of the time that I don't have it as bad as some other people. It can also be extremely difficult not to become critical of myself, not to hate my brain and body for not working the way that I want them to. I am 20 years old and more often than not my various conditions can leave me feeling simultaneously 12 and 70. My anxiety, emotional vulnerability and executive functioning difficulties can leave me feeling like a scared child while my creaking j...

Good Afternoon, I hope you having an absolutely glorious summer whether you are. Today's topic isn't exactly the most cheerful, sunny topic. Having recently finished university for the year I have been looking for some work so that I can support myself in London for the summer. Trying to get a job is rarely easy for anyone, however the system is undoubtedly ableist. We live in a society where the goal is so often making money and if working with so one requires a change of perspective or environment then that is seen as a frustrating obstacle rather than opportunity to work with a new person with potential skills and experiences. It's true, being disabled or someone who struggles with mental health does increase your life admin, but it kinda puts a bad taste in my mouth when I'm turned away from a full time position because I have regular appointments. This summer I have also found my autism has been a greater challenge in finding employment. It's hard to not fe...

Hey! I hope you are all doing so well. Thank you so much for being patient while I took a small break. As those of you who have read my previous posts may know I have been going through a rather difficult depressive episode and anxious period. One thing I haven't yet talked about is the toxic living situation which had in fact worsened my mental state and heavily affected my self esteem and worth. While I don't wish to go into detail about the exact nature of this situation, what I would like to talk about today is how being in a much more supportive environment has massively helped me start moving forward. Leaving my previous living situation I was struggling with an excessive amount of anxiety and extremely poor self esteem. I had left with a conditioned fear of upsetting or angering those around me, and I was carrying a lot of trauma from being trapped in a situation in which you are constantly being torn down. I felt like my nature as an autistic and anxious individual ha...

Hey! I hope you've had a great week and if you were involved I hope you had a fab Autism Awareness Week! Today I wanted to talk about autism again because something I experience a lot, including recently, is people questioning how autistic I am. Quite often the way it's worded isn't suggesting that I'm not autistic but rather that I'm not THAT autistic, which is still frustrating because it can feel like the ways in which I do struggle are being undermined. Today I thought I'd talk about why this might be an impression that some people have of me and why it can be SUPER annoying! First, different people see different sides of me. This can be for a number of reasons; how close we are, what kind of situations we experience together and how often we see each other. Masking is a common trait among those on the spectrum. It's not so much that we're being fact, we're still us, but simply that we might be focusing really hard on things such as social sk...

Hey! I hope that everyone, both those who are neurodiverse and those who are not, is having an awesome Autism Awareness Week! This week is a great opportunity to share and hear many amazing stories from those on the spectrum, and potentially learn something new whether you are autistic or not! Today, at the halfway mark of the week, I thought that I would share a slightly fuller story of my experience with autism as an autistic person who was diagnosed less than a year ago. Around the time of my diagnosis I did share what that process was like for me. However, many of those who received later ASC (Autism Spectrum Condition) or ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) diagnosis will tell you, your story is never quite as simple as having a suspicion, seeing a doctor and being diagnosed. That is what I wanted to talk about today. (Freya is 12 years old and standing in a rock pool, looking rather cold) In my diagnosis post I spoke about seeing a doctor about my experiences during sixth f...

Hey! Hope you are well! Sorry for the short break, things are really tough at the moment but I am working on getting help. But I'm back, and just in time for Autism Awareness Week! This last year, following my own diagnosis of ASC (Autism Spectrum Condition) last summer, autism has kind of become it's own special interest for me. This isn't uncommon from what I've heard of other's diagnosis experiences, many of us on the spectrum enjoy intense research and figuring things out and a diagnosis which could help to explain a lifetime of difficulties is a big deal. A big part of this year has been figuring out what autism means for me and raising awareness to the fact that I am autistic to those around me, both for my own sake and for the wider community. My first AAW has come at a weird time for me. My mental health is in a very difficult place right now, as I continue to struggle with depression and anxiety as well as the consequences of how I deal with these conditi...